Disaster to Destiny
What if your best life is on the other side of your worst experience?
Y'all. This beautiful client of mine from just over a year ago walked in after experiencing one of those horrible life bombs. Like the kind you don't get out of bed after for a long, long time. But not Rachel. She told my makeup artist and I the entire crazy story. My favorite part was that in the midst of the worst conversation she's ever had, she said it was like she floated above herself. As if a second version of herself materialized and was looking back at the first calmly asking, "What do you need? Do you want to hit him? Ask more questions? Because ultimately, this is going to change your life. There's no way around that. The life you thought you'd be living is gone. BUT you can let this be the worst thing that's ever happened to you, or choose to make it the best thing that's ever happened to you."
I have never forgotten listening to her to say that sentence to Jamecia and I--I think when things are deeply true, they resonate with your heart in a more profound way. Our hearts recognize truth. Even pain can be the springboard towards a better, fuller life. I'm so grateful Rachel shared so much of herself that day, but here's the story from her own lips.
"Throughout my college career, I relied on food and T.V. to cope with the stress of school and pain from my undiagnosed chronic digestive issues. Eight years later, I gained twenty pounds, lost my libido, and was out of breath climbing the stairs to class. My fiance, Dave, would always tell me I was beautiful, but deep down, I felt unfulfilled, ugly, and disappointed.
A year before our wedding, I won a boudoir session with a photographer I met at a wedding expo. I knew it would be the perfect wedding gift for Dave, but the thought of taking sexy photos was daunting. Even though I was terrified, I decided to take the leap. I spent hours shopping for lingerie that didn’t make me feel like a beached whale. With the help of my photographer, I managed to find some outfits and take some stunning photos. After that session, I felt better in my own skin. The pictures were proof that I still had it. Even in my new body, I could be sexy. I purchased a leather bound book of my favorite photos. On the day Dave told me he had been cheating on me for years, I used that book to show him I had made steps to improve my confidence with intimacy. Not wanting the painful memory, I burned it on what would have been my wedding day.
After the breakup, I was so nauseous, I could hardly eat. Combined with renovating a duplex, twenty pounds fell off my body in two weeks. Once my appetite returned, I started hiking and running to manage stress and continued to see changes in my body. I quickly became more confident, not just with my looks but also with my newfound strength and independence. I began pushing my body to do things it hadn’t done in years, and it felt amazing.
Six months later, during my first travel contract, I wanted to celebrate the physical and emotional changes I had made. Remembering how I felt after my first boudoir session, I decided to do it again; this time, just for me. I researched photographers in the area and found Meagan in Atlanta. Her portfolio was comprised of women with all different body types, each image a piece of art. She was exactly what I was looking for and had an opening towards the end of my contract.
This time around, I had a blast finding outfits and props to use, spending way too many Saturday afternoons at Victorias Secret. I drew my inspiration from things that inspired my journey, with a mix of girly, badass bitch, and classic sexy. My favorite props included an old-fashioned map and compass, a coffee mug and the book, “you are a Badass” by Jen Sincero, with the inscription, “you really are a badass, love mom.” This book helped solidify the framework that launched me further on my path to self-worth and travel therapy. It was fitting that my favorite photo is just me with that book.
On the day of the photoshoot, I lugged three large bags of outfits and props up the flights of stairs to Meagan’s studio. I immediately felt at home in the chic industrial loft. While Meagan searched my bags, picking the best outfits, I got started with the beautician on hair and makeup. Meagan soon curled up in a cozy chair with a cup of coffee and started chatting. I opened up about my breakup and how the photo shoot was a celebration of everything I had accomplished since. She shared stories from some of her favorite sessions. Many were from women who had been through something traumatic. Some of her past clients were breast cancer survivors, victims of sexual violence, and even women who were having trouble with self-identity after significant weight loss. Before meeting Meagan, I didn’t realize how powerful an image can be. For these women, and for me, a boudoir photo shoot displays what we already know. We are beautiful, we are powerful, we are badass. Leaping into the world of boudoir has been one of the most fun steppingstones on my journey to a new me. Just like everything else this past year, the biggest rewards have been just outside my comfort zone."
If y'all want to follow Rachel's adventures (and they are AWESOME!) you can check out her instagram or blog. She travels to gorgeous places and always find the best trails to hike or spot to grab a drink!
