Two Left Feet
Have you ever been dancing a choreorgraphed dance with a group of people and messed it up? You turned left and everyone else turned right? Or you threw your hands up for the “YMCA” and were too early? Maybe you were at a wedding and it was the cupid shuffle or electric slide. And suddenly you realize you are not in sync with everyone else. There’s that momentary freezing followed by the frenzy to get back to “the steps” before too many people notice.
I feel like that in life sometimes. When people ask why Matt and I haven’t had kids yet. Or when I take a big risk-like when I opened the studio. We are naturally social creatures who have an innate desire to be part of a group and to trend towards the status quo. Sticking out too much feels like a bad thing. It invites judgement and disapproval, which just flat out sucks even if the person dishing it out isn’t someone you care about.
Last year I had a client come in for a boudoir session for herself. She wanted to see herself as beautiful, sexy and confident. She shared that with a few women from work, who giggled and questioned her about it excitedly. When she came back for her reveal, she confided in me that after the shoot she’d heard those same coworkers talking about her in the work restroom. Clucking and puttering like little hens. They said things like, “Who wants a bunch of sexy pictures of themselves? I mean, how narcissistic can you get?” and, “No wonder she doesn’t have a partner! How can you when you’re clearly already in love with yourself?”
Now, there are many lessons we can take from this story. (Like deciding to build women up instead of using them as gossip fodder to build fake relationships with people we can’t authentically connect to…but I digress). The main lesson I take away from this story is what will my life even look like if I try to please everyone around me? I remember when I shared with people that I was opening my own photography studio—and that I was only going to shoot boudoir. I was met with a lot of criticism…there won’t be enough clients. You’re charging too much. You haven’t been in photography long enough. It was definitely hard, and for someone reason the critics are just born with louder voices! BUT taking that risk led me to a life that I love. One better than I could’ve ever dreamed existed. If I’d listened to the critics, they wouldn’t have missed out, I would have!
So dance like no one is watching! Forge your own path! Rock out that rhythm of your own drum! Get your two left feet on that dance floor! I assure you, your best life will never be at the end of a path of someone else’s expectations.