Pushing Outside Your Comfort Zone

I’ve been thinking a lot about my “edges” lately. My perceived limits. The space between what I think I can do and what I’m convinced I’ll never do. Things that are too scary. Or too expensive. Or too massive to take on. For example, I wouldn’t categorize myself as a “handyman” per se, but when I was pressed by my timeline of getting the studio ready last Fall, I took on some pretty massive projects. I built a mirror wall. I installed decorative wall panelling. I hung wall paper. All of these projects that, when I started, I wasn’t 100% sure I was going to be able to finish. And yet, I did.

I’ve also done that many times in my business. I didn’t know if I could handle opening a studio, but I did it. I didn’t know if I could niche into boudoir and be successful, but I did it. I didn’t know if I could add a traveling element to my business model, but I did it. And I’ve done it even more in my life. I wasn’t sure what my life would look like if I got divorced, but I did it. I wasn’t sure what the life I’d build alone would be like, but I love it.

I’ve noticed a phenomenon that occurs once you achieve the thing you thought was previously impossible. You quickly forget just how much fear or struggle you experienced making that something happen. The memory of the sleepless nights, the worry, the stress and all the battling you had to take on to do something new, that is outside of your comfort zone, fades quickly. And one of the beautiful things you’re left with is a bigger comfort zone AND more tools for how you can expand even those perceived limits in the future. The practice of doing something hard, scary or overwhelming, actively increases your own ability to do something hard the next time.

Assuming that’s true, this skillset would continue to build on itself. Meaning, the more we lean into hard moments and try anyway, the better we get at pushing past our perceived limits and the more life we get to enjoy. More memories. More experiences. Richer relationships. Deeper beauty. I see it in the studio all the time. A woman who doesn’t think she could ever do a boudoir session does it anyway. Then I hear about her going for partner of her firm a few months later. Or gathering the courage to leave an abusive relationship. The act of actually doing something you don’t think you can do reinforces to yourself that you can trust yourself enough to do it anyway.