The Other Side of Fear
Today marks the last shoot of the year. I’ve already talked about how 2022 was my favorite year I’ve ever lived, but as my client left today, I found myself reflecting on how lucky I am to do what I do. I literally get paid to help women connect with and celebrate their own unique beauty. I honestly feel like the luckiest woman on the face of the planet. As I reminisced about the past eight years in the studio, I was reminded that it wasn’t always so fun or easy.
When I had the idea to open my studio, I’d never had overhead like that before. I remember signing the two year lease and then later sobbing in the shower because I realized I’d just agreed to pay someone thousands of dollars a month and somehow I was supposed to make money too. I was terrified.
Fear isn’t an emotion I feel often, but I was chock full of it the year I opened my studio. It would grip my throat and quicken my heart when the inquires were slow to come at first. I remember constantly wondering if I made a massive mistake. And then, when I actually had a full roster of clients for the month, there was a flood from the apartment above my studio that caused massive damage (as in ripping up both the upstairs and downstairs floors entirely as well as the wall and ceiling in my bathroom type of damage.) I was just beginning to breathe easy when I had to scramble to find another spot to shoot for two months.
Fear is such a funny thing. No one likes it or wants it, yet everything worth anything is on the other side of it. Booking a boudoir session. Falling in love. Changing jobs. Leaving a relationship. Trying to get pregnant. Choosing to have children-or not. Creating literally anything. All of those don’t come without some dose of fear. Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid. It means you’re absolutely scared and you do it anyway. My life is forever changed for the better because I was brave eight years ago. If there’s something in your life right now that makes your knees shake and your hands tremble, lean into it. You are far more capable, strong and powerful than you think.
