Have You Heard of the Red Hat Ladies?
"You are my purple.” A client texted that to me today and it made my week. I’ll explain: I remember being around 11 years old, heading into a restaurant with my family while on vacation in Florida. When we walked into the Cracker Barrel, there was a big group of women all dressed up in purple & red. They had feather boas, fun sunglasses, tiaras and one wore sequins. I remember they stood out so much and I found myself staring at them throughout our meal. They seemed to be having an absolute BALL together! They were laughing and moving around the tables, talking animatedly with their entire bodies. In fact, I think the thing that stood out to me was just how free they were. The only consistent groups of adult women I’d observed were at church, and I’d certainly never seen them act like that. No, these women were way more fun!!
Fast forward to college, and I remember hearing about the Red Hat Society. Basically, they were founded in the 1990s as a way to celebrate the 50+ year old women (now it’s open to all.) It was built on a concept from a poem published in Reader’s Digest with a line that says “When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple. With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.” The basic reasoning being, I am here to exist for myself first. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else. I don’t have to squeeze myself into that box. Then, with that new perspective, they offer a call back to friendship, community and play. It’s about women getting the most out of life and supporting one another in that same endeavor.
When my client said “you are my purple”, she meant that I am a way that she gets to enjoy reconnecting to herself. Getting to see herself through a literal different lens. Unapologetically. Plus, now that she and I have shot a few times in different spots all over the globe (like Iceland, pictured here), when we have our sessions, it just feels like play. Laughing, getting dolled up and leaning into the extravagance and beauty of it all. I think I may just have to buy some more red and purple for my wardrobe. What a combination. <3
Warning by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
